Those who know me well were not surprised when I say on Friday "soooo...I'm moving to Kansas City, Monday." Those who know me well also trust that I am led by God... but more importantly..they know God,intimately.... and have seen first hand how He works in my life...and were quickly on board. They trust Him. They know that He is so good. As my dad said...do this venture as if unto the Lord and you cannot go wrong. So in the excitement of this new chapter of my life...I head north yesterday. No doubt about this decision. I arrive at the office and hit the ground running, moving right back into the activity of roofing houses. Then, off to get settled and unload the car at my new abode.
In my fatigue of the events from a weekend of preparation and little sleep...I hit my wall. More than anything I needed sleep and was feeling a bit "off".
When I am feeling that way, I know in my spirit that it's just a feeling. Not the truth. Our feelings and emotions are fickle...I know this...I preach this...but I still needed some comfort and tend to look to a certain someone for that instead of the Almighty Comforter...the one that is so gentle and understanding. I prayed...and off to dream land I go...
I believe that the Lord is calling me to be a woman of faith today...to trust Him and not to pay attention to how I may be feeling "off". I am led by the Lord..so it shouldn't matter how I feel... and that this happened as quickly as it did. Actually, every time the Lord does something in my life,there has never been time to over think it. So why am I surprised? ...it's time to get in the groove...stop looking to the left and the right for my comfort and rest my eyes on Him.
Lord, I repent for giving in to thoughts that are not of you...for not standing on Your promises to never leave me or forsake me. For entertaining feelings that move me from the solid rock of who You are and who You have made me. Thank You for Your goodness. I'm thankful for the ones that You place in my life to speak truth to me. Thank you that I am filled with that peace that Paul speaks of in Ephesians...the peace that surpasses all understanding. No matter where I'm at...what city, or state, or country...You are with me and I am with You. In Jesus name I pray...Amen.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
It's OK to cry
Psalm 35:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
This was one of my favorite verses when I first fell in love with the Lord. I was such a hurting individual...so it was like the Lord put these words in His love letter just for me. As I have said before, no one knew that a scared little girl lived in me. My confidence was misleading...smoke and mirrors so to speak.
Fast forward to today. My confidence is in the Lord now, not confidence in my own understanding as Paul says. However, my nature and personality are strong. I tend to be a bit hard on myself...I look at myself as weak when I get upset and cry about something...after all, so many look at me as the rock (my friend Stacy lovingly calls me this). The one who is calm and steady. I almost feel like I'm not allowed to have a "moment" of heartbreak...not from others but I put that on myself...That it's not OK. I have to be tough...what a bunch of crap. Sound familiar to any of the girls reading this?
Do you have a great deal of grace for others who are hurting but look at yourself as weak if you experience emotions and "lose it a little" when your God given emotions stare you in the face. As women we are made up so miraculously...we GET TO CREATE ANOTHER LIFE (yes i know the man is involved but you understand what I mean :). A tiny little being grows inside of us. I had struggled with PMS for years but recently have been introduced to the world of Homeopathy. Straight from the Lord I tell ya! I have been set free from the emotional roller coaster, praise be to God. For so long I did not embrace the fact that God made me a certain way. Passionate, full of love and emotions that He gave me.
So of course yesterday and today the enemy of my soul tried to lie to me and say that I'm just being emotional and weak when I had a heartbreak moment. That I wasn't REALLY set free from the bondage of PMS and how on earth could I minister to others when I can't get a hold on my emotions. Then, the Lord sent to me a little fun sized red head (she knows who she is) with these words..."It's OK to be upset, there's nothing wrong with that". I remember very little of the sentences spoken in the next few seconds because those words resonated in my heart like I had never heard those words spoken to me. I'm taking the risk of sounding a tad bit dramatic but it was as if He spoke them to me Himself. She loves me in the purest way and so does He.
The Lord would have had no need to put this scripture in His love letter to us if it were not OK to be brokenhearted...I'm just glad to know that He is near.
Because of this it draws me nearer to Him. I know that as I continue to wait with a good attitude on Him, tears and all, it's not a tragedy, it's a triumph. He knows best and I trust my Father. I love you Lord.
This was one of my favorite verses when I first fell in love with the Lord. I was such a hurting individual...so it was like the Lord put these words in His love letter just for me. As I have said before, no one knew that a scared little girl lived in me. My confidence was misleading...smoke and mirrors so to speak.
Fast forward to today. My confidence is in the Lord now, not confidence in my own understanding as Paul says. However, my nature and personality are strong. I tend to be a bit hard on myself...I look at myself as weak when I get upset and cry about something...after all, so many look at me as the rock (my friend Stacy lovingly calls me this). The one who is calm and steady. I almost feel like I'm not allowed to have a "moment" of heartbreak...not from others but I put that on myself...That it's not OK. I have to be tough...what a bunch of crap. Sound familiar to any of the girls reading this?
Do you have a great deal of grace for others who are hurting but look at yourself as weak if you experience emotions and "lose it a little" when your God given emotions stare you in the face. As women we are made up so miraculously...we GET TO CREATE ANOTHER LIFE (yes i know the man is involved but you understand what I mean :). A tiny little being grows inside of us. I had struggled with PMS for years but recently have been introduced to the world of Homeopathy. Straight from the Lord I tell ya! I have been set free from the emotional roller coaster, praise be to God. For so long I did not embrace the fact that God made me a certain way. Passionate, full of love and emotions that He gave me.
So of course yesterday and today the enemy of my soul tried to lie to me and say that I'm just being emotional and weak when I had a heartbreak moment. That I wasn't REALLY set free from the bondage of PMS and how on earth could I minister to others when I can't get a hold on my emotions. Then, the Lord sent to me a little fun sized red head (she knows who she is) with these words..."It's OK to be upset, there's nothing wrong with that". I remember very little of the sentences spoken in the next few seconds because those words resonated in my heart like I had never heard those words spoken to me. I'm taking the risk of sounding a tad bit dramatic but it was as if He spoke them to me Himself. She loves me in the purest way and so does He.
The Lord would have had no need to put this scripture in His love letter to us if it were not OK to be brokenhearted...I'm just glad to know that He is near.
Because of this it draws me nearer to Him. I know that as I continue to wait with a good attitude on Him, tears and all, it's not a tragedy, it's a triumph. He knows best and I trust my Father. I love you Lord.
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