Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It's OK to cry

Psalm 35:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

This was one of my favorite verses when I first fell in love with the Lord. I was such a hurting individual...so it was like the Lord put these words in His love letter just for me. As I have said before, no one knew that a scared little girl lived in me. My confidence was misleading...smoke and mirrors so to speak.

Fast forward to today. My confidence is in the Lord now, not confidence in my own understanding as Paul says. However, my nature and personality are strong. I tend to be a bit hard on myself...I look at myself as weak when I get upset and cry about something...after all, so many look at me as the rock (my friend Stacy lovingly calls me this). The one who is calm and steady. I almost feel like I'm not allowed to have a "moment" of heartbreak...not from others but I put that on myself...That it's not OK. I have to be tough...what a bunch of crap. Sound familiar to any of the girls reading this?


Do you have a great deal of grace for others who are hurting but look at yourself as weak if you experience emotions and "lose it a little" when your God given emotions stare you in the face. As women we are made up so miraculously...we GET TO CREATE ANOTHER LIFE (yes i know the man is involved but you understand what I mean :). A tiny little being grows inside of us. I had struggled with PMS for years but recently have been introduced to the world of Homeopathy. Straight from the Lord I tell ya! I have been set free from the emotional roller coaster, praise be to God. For so long I did not embrace the fact that God made me a certain way. Passionate, full of love and emotions that He gave me.

So of course yesterday and today the enemy of my soul tried to lie to me and say that I'm just being emotional and weak when I had a heartbreak moment. That I wasn't REALLY set free from the bondage of PMS and how on earth could I minister to others when I can't get a hold on my emotions. Then, the Lord sent to me a little fun sized red head (she knows who she is) with these words..."It's OK to be upset, there's nothing wrong with that". I remember very little of the sentences spoken in the next few seconds because those words resonated in my heart like I had never heard those words spoken to me. I'm taking the risk of sounding a tad bit dramatic but it was as if He spoke them to me Himself. She loves me in the purest way and so does He.

The Lord would have had no need to put this scripture in His love letter to us if it were not OK to be brokenhearted...I'm just glad to know that He is near.

Because of this it draws me nearer to Him. I know that as I continue to wait with a good attitude on Him, tears and all, it's not a tragedy, it's a triumph. He knows best and I trust my Father. I love you Lord.

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