Healing old wounds, together

Romans 15:5,6 Now may the God Who gives the power of patient endurance (steadfastness) and Who supplies encouragement, grant you to live in such mutual harmony and such full sympathy with one another, in accord with Jesus Christ,
That together you may [unanimously] with united hearts and one voice, praise and glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah). AMP

I have met the Love of my life~ Jesus. He gets me and I get Him. He understands why I do the things I do. I'm thankful that the Lord chose Him for me...He's amazing. Everything I have prayed for and more. We are learning and growing daily and have had some tough seasons...nothing that you yourself haven't experienced. The Lord has grown me up a great deal in the past 6 months and has shed some light in some areas that have been painful yet liberating to deal with. I'm in expectation of the revelation in more areas, ready, with His help to be a better woman of God that will represent the Lord well. It's sad and funny at the same time but I really thought I had "overcome" some stuff, then I find out how selfish I can be and...ugh...praise God for His mercy and grace!

Jesus is in the healing business~we don't have to live all our lives in bondage to our past. I used to think that I would never change...That I would always have a chip on my shoulder, with something to prove to the world. Especially men. My motto was...I'll hurt you before you hurt me. I was defensive and controlling, and touchy. When I met Jesus he began a work on my heart...(and still working on me...yay!)

I had a vision one morning in service, soon after I gave my heart to Him. We were in worship and I was kneeling, the Lord knelt beside me...picked my heart up from the carpet and begin to caress, almost knead it. The scar tissue was thick and ugly to look at. As He pulled away scars, one by one, the pink tissue began to appear in His loving hands. When He was finished...He took my face in His hand, looked deep into me, smiled, and placed my heart back inside me, where it belonged. The Lord continues to heal old wounds in me through my soon to be husband.

As I fall deeper in love with Jesus, I'm learning that I need Him now more than ever. I had this idea that I needed no one. That prideful way of thinking almost took my life. I'm learning about love, not the puppy love kind. But the love that swallows pride and says, "I apologize", even when we don't feel we are at fault... and when our selfish nature wants to "get back" at the other when our feelings are hurt. It's not about me and my desires anymore...I've had a lifetime of that. It's about us...and being about the Lord's business...first. We can't do that when we are in strife. More than anything I want to hear "well done good and faithful servant"...and what does He call us to do over and over? TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Even when we don't feel like it. ESPECIALLY when we don't feel like it. I have learned the way to give the devil a nervous breakdown is to have a red hot love walk. You know how frustrated he must get when he doesn't get the victory.... when one of those arguments break out and begin to get out of hand because someone had a tone...you can't even remember what you are fighting about? And then you get a hold of yourself say... "Honey, wait...I apologize...please... come here to me". That's love, that's patient endurance, full sympathy with one another, and mutual harmony.

I've done this life on my own until the last few years. Selfish ambition was a way of life and it only brought heartache. The more I put my flesh under and look for ways to bless those around me the happier I am... The healthier I become and the farther the hurt of the past fades away. Yes, I'm called to share it with the multitudes, but it seems as if I'm talking about another person in another time. Praise God!

Lord, thank you for your goodness...continue to do a work in my heart to bless those that I love and bring those that haven't experienced love...the ones that may think that they aren't lovable across my path so that You can pour out Your love on them, through me...growing me up in the process. Your Word says that its easy to love the ones we want to love but the true test is to love those that aren't so lovable. Open our eyes so that we can see if it's the person living in our own house that needs love. Shed light where there is darkness in this area. Help us to be creative and genuine in this. In the name of Jesus, Amen.